If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
she peed on how many people?
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
