I think I just saw someone hide a body.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
