I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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