So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
