pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Randomize
