found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
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