Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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