i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Randomize
