Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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