They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
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