hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
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