your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
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