I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
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