my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
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