I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
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