youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
Randomize
