just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
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