I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
It's rum buckets o'clock
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
