Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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