It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
