Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
