Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize
