she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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