other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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