Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
