So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
