Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
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