I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize
