Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
