legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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