So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
