Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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