i already hear my dad disowning me
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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