i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
