So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
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