Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
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