I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Randomize
