so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
handjob tips. give me some.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Randomize
