so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
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