How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
