She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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