omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
