ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize