She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
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