Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
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