Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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