so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
