He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
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