i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
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