Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Randomize
