Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Randomize
