Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Randomize
