I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
