she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
