We got so high we made milksteak
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
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