I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
