You're my little dorito
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Randomize
