pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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