We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
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