So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
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