The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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