I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Randomize
