when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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