i just had sex bonerless
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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