i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
