went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
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