Me too!
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Randomize
