She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Randomize
