belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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